There is a bullying epidemic that is sadly creating many victims all over the world. Bullying is not a new behavior; it is a learned behavior that comes from the social observation of parents, teachers, TV figures, and any other adults. More often than not, bullies don’t even realize the scale of their action and how they can hurt someone else. They are copying a behavioral pattern that they have learned from others.
Unfortunately, teenagers are the most common victims of this wave of negativity. Too fat, too skinny, too tall, too small, too smart, too dumb-bullies always find something to pick on. Your role as a parent is to be there to defend your child from the attacks of bullies. A bully will harass your child until they break, probably because they are broken themselves. But with your support, your teen can regain happiness, self-esteem, confidence, and a sense of calm.
Social Media Awareness
Teenagers are the most active social media users. Consequently, they are also the first in line to receive negative comments, abusive messages and hatred behavior online. The spread of technology has made bullying so much easier because it has removed the traditional barriers of time and space between bullies and their victims. They can interact in real time at any moment throughout the day, whether it be during or after school. The technology to hurt someone is constantly on—available 24/7.
Have your kids been cyberbullied? It is shocking to learn that nearly 43 percent of kids have been bullied online, according to PACER, the organization who developed National Bullying Prevention Month that is held every October to unite communities nationwide to inspire, educate, and raise awareness about bullying prevention. Cyberbullying is now the single largest type of bullying, and 25 percent of kids who have been bullied say they have experienced it more than once.
While you need to explain to your teen that picking on someone online is wrong and may have damaging consequences (for both themselves and the victim), you also need to warn them about recognizing bullies. Toxic online friends should not be kept just because it’s cool to know them. Parents who are open about the risks of social media can save their children from the destructive consequences of cyberbullies. Make sure to teach your child to report bullies and block them.
How To Help
Bullying can have terrible impacts on someone’s self-esteem and confidence. A teen who has been bullied is likely to suffer from depression and anxiety. Handling these emotional issues can be difficult, so you need to provide support as your children try to rebuild their strength. Be gentle and listen to what your child wants to say. It’s important that you resist the urge to comment or criticize: this is the best way to show them that you are there for them.
Helping your child face bullies is something that more parents need to put on their radar. Unfortunately, there is no magic solution, and you can’t protect your child from everything. But you can help them go through a hard time by taking them seriously, being supportive, and providing tools to help them maneuver through the challenges of bullying.
What To Do When It’s Too Much
Bullies can surface anywhere, such as in your child’s class at school or at places they regularly visit like the shopping mall or the gym. Sometimes, it can be difficult to avoid the local bullies despite all the best policing support you might have. If the situation is not resolved after confronting and reporting the bully, then you might even want to consider moving to a new home or switch schools to change your child’s social circle. More often than not you only need to contract professional movers to move to the closest town, as it’s enough to avoid the daily struggles of the bully’s attacks.
How do you handle bullying cases in your home?
We teach our kids to speak up. Let someone know they do not like the behavior, inform a teacher and us immediately. You are always your 1st line of defense in life.
Great tips!
I was bullied when I was a teenager and am still feeling some of the effects of it today. I think what would have worked for me (and others) who have been bullied by their peers is a.) Genuinely encourage the victims that they are valuable and worth loving. b.) Confront the bully and tell them that their behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Follow through on that response if they bully again and give appropriate consequences.
Bethany says
LOVE this article. I will be sharing in my online support group for divorced parents of teenagers. 🙂
Thank you so much for your feedback and for sharing it.
I was bullied off and on throughout my schooling years - and in all honesty, it nearly broke me. However, once I plucked up the courage to tell my Mum, she was amazing at dealing with it and instead of making it out to be a big deal she simply let me know that she was there when I needed it. The bullying was beyond her control and even the school’s at times, as it continued on throughout social media. My message would be to those being bullied, speak up, reach out and try not to let it get you down. It is tough, but you are absolutely not alone. C x
Thank you so much for sharing your story and for your helpful advice.
Jacqui Olliver says
This is a really helpful article, Sandi. Not all bullying comes from learned behavior. One of the hidden causes of bullying develops from emotional resistance due to not understanding how to deal with one’s emotions. This results in mental and emotional chaos and conflict which then leads to resistant behavior toward others.
The key to solving bullying is to teach kids how to be emotionally resilient and to feel good within themselves, regardless of what cards life is dealing. This, in turn, will significantly reduce the number of people who bully others.
Thank you so much for pointing this out!
Jacqui Olliver says
Thanks Sandi, dealing with emotional resistance is fully explained in my breakthrough new book “Doing This ONE Thing Will Change Your Life Forever!” I look forward to sharing it with you when it’s published 🙂
That sounds great. I look forward to it.
Thanks for talking about this important topic. My son will be in 5th grade this school year and I’ll need to be talking to him about watching out for bullies soon.
I completely understand. It’s scary, but important that we talk to them about watching out for bullies and to make sure they don’t bully others.
The first question about what occurred (after checking safety) will always be about feelings.
Carlee Hebert says
This is a great article! In high school, I was cyberbullied and bullied at school. It got so bad that I decided to graduate a year early. I think media plays a huge role in bullying not only because kids will copy the bullying they see in media, but because media can tear down someone’s self confidence which leads them to bully people out of their own insecurities. I think if we could teach kids media literacy, it could help solve the problem of bullying. http://carleehebert.com/
Thank you for your thoughts. Yes, addressing media, and now social media, is a huge part of it.